Leap Year 2012

I've never given much thought to Leap Year, or cared much about it at all. But this year is different.


This year, on Leap Year Day (is that what you call it?) a very important decision will be made for our family. It's not a decision we get to make. It's not even a decision we have a say in. In a courthouse... in Santa Barbara... a judge, who we've never met & who knows nothing about us, will make a possibly life changing decision for us.


I never thought the future of my life would be in a judges hands. The decision about growing or not growing my family at a given time. But it has come to that and we are at the {hopefully sweet} mercy of said judge.


On that day in court, February 29th, the judge will decide to either terminate "dad's" Reunification or give him another 6 months. If terminated, we will move towards terminating Rights and then adoption. If given another 6 months...our family will be in limbo, waiting, wondering and continuing to fall in love with these babies. I vote for the first option.


Although there is the 3rd option which the judge is famous for doing. That would be making no decision and continuing for another month or 2. Oh the legal process! I hate it... when it's not in my favor!


*Update
Birth-Dad (b-dad) is now getting 2 hr visits a week instead of 1 hr. When The Lady brought them back last week after the first 2 hr visit I asked her how it went. She said, "it was okay, I mean, it wasn't bad". What's that supposed to mean? He can't handle them for 2 hours?!

*The Flip Side
B-dad is trying. He visits them every week, he brings them food, blankets, toys. He's trying to provide for them the best that he can in his situation. I felt bad when he sent a large can of formula. At first I thought it was for Avery, since it's formula. Then Matt noticed it says Toddler formula. I guess it was for Brock? Either way, I had to send it back with The Lady and tell her to tell bdad, "thank you. But Brock is allergic to milk and soy and can only have Rice Milk and Avery can only have Soy." Again, felt bad...but at least he can return if unopened hopefully? The point is, he's trying and he seems to really care and want them back. I feel bad for him.

*My Side
Every week about 15-20 minutes before the visit I tell Brock he's going to see Daddy ____. (keeping his name private.) He hasn't ever really understood. The first couple of times The Lady would show up to pick up the kids, Brock would take her hand and walk out the door with her. What's up with that?! Okay so it bothered me but given his situation, I couldn't expect it to be different. Then when she would show up and he would hug my leg, then go to her. Next time he'd fuss, then go to her.

Two weeks ago he cried and clung to me and I had to carry him to the car. (Now that's more like it!) Last week was a little different. I told him she was coming, as I always do. This time however, he looked at the door, pointed & grunted...because that's his language. I said yes, you're going to go see Daddy ____ then you'll come back here and have lunch. He started crying! Actually crying and wanted to be held. Each time I tried to put him down he started crying and clinging to me. At one point I put him down, he ran over to the table and started throwing things on the floor then bit Aliyah. Okay, something tells me he's not too crazy about his visits.

But this is all out of our control. We just have to go through the motions and hope for the best. Hopefully, on this Leap Year Day, we will have the answer we want. Only time will tell.